Hello people ! I'm flying off a few hours time:)
Hmmm, this time i'm leaving apple behind.
Sorry apple !
Haha.
And sj, you better stay happy when i'm not around ya?
To others, don't miss me!( Although i know it's a little bit difficult:D )
Till then, ciaos :)

Know what? Even the way you talk has changed.
At first i still thought im the only one who thought of you that way,
but apparently not.
I'm really shocked.
I don't like the way you are talking now,
The sarcasm, the act popular, arrogant kinda way.
Maybe other people who you knew not long will like it cause they think its cool and funny.
But people who knew you since 4years ago, people who understood you well, will not.
Yes, i may smile, i may play along w you.
However, you wouldn't know that my heart was aching all along inside.
Sometimes i really wonder, what really made you change?
Izzit really me or those people around you?
Look at you, the way you're talking is exactly as D.
The same bhb-ness and the same everything!
I don't understand, really don't understand.
Why change when you were so nice last time?
Really damn fucking nice.
Even when we did what we usually do,
i felt nothing but disgust.
Why am i doing all these with a guy who is a total stranger to me
and does not care a single shit about how i'll feel after that.
Yep, you simply walked away, as always.
I dont feel hurt.
I just....................can't accept the fact.
Lots of regrets.
If only, if only, if only.
These two words kept appearing in my mind.
If only you didn't change,
if only we were still together,
if only you didn't retain and get into that fucking class of yours,
if only.............................

I want to go escape.
I want to go Wild Wild Wet.
I want to picnic.
I want to go for star gazing,
I want to go to the Zoo.
I want to go to the Night Safari.
I want to go to the Botanic Garden.
I want to go to Sentosa.
I want to go many places........





Who's willing to bring me to those places?



So feel like going to flea tomorrow but i can't cause i have to keep my family accompany before i go to HongKong:(
Sorry Jace Sorry Teresa that i can't go !
Make it up to you gals another time kay!?

Yesterday was the last day of school and the first day i went to school in one week?
Haha.
Saw the Vp blah blah blah.
Was super duper uber xian ttm after that.
Thanks to those who tried to cheer me up:)
Met qien after that and i had many first times !
I threaded my eyebrows, did mani and pedi.
Now pretty pretty already:)
Haha.















Never take my pedi and brows though. Haha.
Sang K after that and homed around 12plus.
Brandon and Qien left first.
Hmmm, my baby cussie is off to malaysia:(
Miss her like madddddd !
Actually lucas is supposed to go to taiwan today too but something happened.
CHEER UP LULU !
WE ARE LEAVING SOON TOO !
NEXT WEEK EH? ^^
Yep, im leaving for hongkong soon too.
THREE CHEERS:D

I called you last night when i was in trouble and alone outside. But you never answered.
I guessed you didn't know it was me.
Last time when i did that you would aoutomatically know it's me.
Izzit cause now there's someone else that will do the same as me?
Or izzit you just can't be bothered to call me back and ask what's wrong?

Yeah, my fault now for everything. Great people you all are.

Reasons why my daddy shouldn't let me go to HongKong.

1) Getting bad results.
2) Not going to school.
3) Sneaking out to lucas's chalet although he disapprove.
4) Talking back at him. ( ALWAYS)
5) Showing him attitude.
6) Just got a laptop and a blackberry from him.
7) Went Maldives, Taiwan, HongKong and Japan last year. Total cost 10K.
  ( He knew i needed a get away)
8) I'm fine now and do not need a get away but it's just for the shopping !:P


BUT.......................................................


My daddy is a nice guy:)



Conversation between me and my dad:


Me: Received his call and debating if i wanna answer cause i didn't go to school today. I have rashes though.
Dad: Why? You didn't go to school today arh?( He speaks in chinese)
Me: Cause i have rashes mah. Will get very itchy once i get warm.
Dad: Got put medicine not? ( SO NICE(:  )
Me: Never, later i eat.
Dad: Heard that you going HongKong hor.( Laughing way)
Me: -----Silence------ Don't know what to say.
Dad: Never tell me on your own still ask other people( mum) come tell me hor.
Me: Hahahahahahahahaha.
Dad: Okay lah, go and rest. Bye.
Me: Bye ( still in shock )



SEE ! MY DADDY IS SO NICE! HAHA:)

Blackshot or dota ?
Need to decide quick !

Ps: CHICKEN RICE TOMORROW ! YEAH :)

I JUST MOP MY MUM'S PLACE ! THE WHOLE HOUSE LEH!
First time in my 16years of living i mop a floor. Hahaha.
Now enjoying my golden kiwi and watching tv:)
But there's no cable tv here:(
Went to lucas's chalet for the past 2nights till around morning.
First night was with class guys and we played idiot and it was damn funny.
Hahaha.
Second night was drinking with tyson and his friends and class guys.
Rashes again-.-
BUT i drank damn little.
Sigh.
Thank you for all your hugs people:)
Really give me lots of comfort<3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCAS LIMMY!:)
Haha. It's your birthday today so stay haapy!
On my way to eat mother's day dinner w the whole Sng family.
Am still going to the chalet later. Don't care you!

Copyrighted from underage-girl.blogspot.com.



They say "the first cut is the deepest", and I'm sorry if I have to resort to cliche and over-repeated quotes we have all heard before to emphasize on what I really mean, but these quotes wouldn't be so famous if they weren't so true.

Your first love would be nothing like the rest of your relationships. It is the first time you fall in love that you fall the deepest, because you love like you've never been hurt before. And that, in my opinion, is one of the truest forms of love.

Because in my first real relationship, I taught myself how to love unconditionally. I was new to this scene, and all I could really understand was how hard and fast he made my heart beat.
've never known heartbreak like how it knew to always find its way to me, and because I've never been hurt quite so badly, I also never knew how to protect myself.

For the longest time, I was obsessed with the fact that I was in love with somebody whom I thought was perfect for me, never once stopping to realize that perhaps I'm in love with the idea of what I'd like him to be or who I THINK he is, and not realizing who he actually was is someone I've never known, and still don't.

I was trying to hold onto someone who was already gone.
I was young, far too young and naive back then to even begin to grasp the basic concept of relationships. I just knew that I had to love him, and that I had to be with him.

When you're in a relationship like that, you don't stop to think that one day, all that was your entire world would come crashing down on your head, taking you along with it.

You'd never imagine that he would say the hurtful things to shatter your world that he eventually did one day, you'd never imagine that you were merely placed as an option all along when he was obviously your priority.

                                                               And so I got hurt.

              I was lied to, I was emotionally abused and I cried like I've never cried before.

Everyone goes through heartbreak, and sometimes you're gonna wholeheartedly trust that seemingly special someone who steals your heart but conveniently steps all over it and leaves you to bleed out all by yourself... but the most important part is knowing how to pick up the pieces and walk away.


There will always be assholes out there. But they are not the biggest problem of all.
What I'm really, really cut about is the fact that I let him do it to me. Over and over again.


I let him hurt me, because I was too eager to believe his lies, too desperate to feel wanted and loved.


There's a chance that he won't tear you up inside again, but don't use that as an excuse to throw away your dignity and self-worth and readily accept living a lie while in self-denial.


Don't let that be the reason why you forgive him after his second repeated mistake even though there was a gut feeling inside you telling you that something is very, very wrong.

I'll be completely honest with you and tell you that the only reason why I stuck with my ex-boyfriend for so long was because I was too obsessed with the idea that some day he will change for me, and I can say that I was right here waiting for him all along
They say love is unconditional, and me being the idiot that I was, happily lapped up every single ounce of bullshit that was spoon fed to me by clueless people who claimed that true love is unconditional.


And it was my first relationship - of course I thought I was truly in love.

            A relationship shouldn't be something just to HAVE, it's something to work for!!!

I remember crying myself to sleep wishing that things would get better, but they never did. Not until I took control of my own life and stopped letting a destructive relationship consume me.

SO stop bloody wallowing in self-pity and DO SOMETHING to make your life better!!!!!!!


All these happened to me before too. I'll never ever forgive you for what you did with that dance btich and my junior.
For god's sake, she's my junior. Sigh, forget it. Do not eish to say anymore cause i can't be botered anymore.
If you feel that you've done nothing wrong and walk pass me with that all so mighty look so be it.
Cause i wont even be bothered to look your way. It's just disappointment now i have for you.
Do what you please. Although you say you know you've let me down, you dont seem to repent.
You still can say those words to me and act like you've done nothing wrong.
I........................................................ really have nothing more to say.

So now there's another case.
Wtf leh.
Seriously lah, mind your own business can?
Sigh.
I really pity you.
Why don't i teach you how to get a life?
First, lose some fats:)
You forced me to be mean bitch.

Okay, let's start by me telling you guys a story:


X is going through a breakup with her boyfriend who have been with her for the last 3.5years.
She's going through a lot but she choose to sweep it off and have the fun that she missed.
She's meeting so many new people now, going out late at night with her cousin and WITH parent's consent.
It's one of her way of forgetting, one of the way she's enjoying her life for the first time.
Then come this teacher Y from her school who claims that she cares for this X.
Going to her profile in FB to get a photo of her PUTTING a cigarrette in her mouth and posing for a picture.
Nope she doesn't smoke and she won't, if anyone knew her well, they will know.
However that Y COPIED and PASTED that particular photo and showed it to the level mistress Z.
Of course right?
As an eduacator, as a teacher, she had too. Because she think that she's showing concern for her.
Expectedly, Z came to look for X.
They talked and Z asked a lot so being the truthful X, she didn't lie and told Z everything that happened in her family, her life.
However, this brought back many memories and hurt that she hasn't been feeling for almost 2 whole months.
Finally she broke down when she couldn't control herself.
Nice isn't it?
X been living so well and finally she's moving on but because of what Y is doing, she's stuck in the past again.
So let me ask, if Y truely concern, is that the way?
Where is the trust then?
And X already made it quite clear that she doesn't to share things with Y and not wanting Y to interfere.
X has already made her plan and moving on so well.
So why?
Why go and destroy happiness that doesn't come easily for X?

X sixteen and a sport player. She has been through much more than you people know.
If X tells my juniors not to smoke and am doing it herself. Will they listen to her?
No right?
For one, X seriously cannot stand smokers and the smell.
So why oh why will X smoke?
And as for her problem, she already have many people showing concern for her.
And she is grateful that Y is showing concern but it's a little bit too extreme dont you think?
I don't mean to be harsh but don't Y have a life? Stalking student's FB( not only mine),
going to student's blog?
I doubt that's called showing concern. That is just called being a nosey parker.
So please, keep your damn nose out of my business!

I really wanna type a long long long long post that will summarize our 3.5years together but i really can't.
I'm afraid.
Memories are slowly fading away.
They weren't as vivid as how they were just months ago.
I don't quite remember what you really did for me when i was in sec1.
I guess i have to stop being selfish and let others have you and start letting myself accept others.
I cannot be forever coping within myself and not let others understand me.
I'm gonna give things a try.
I'm gonna really move on.

Omg, took 2hours to decide what to wear today!
Feel so chapalang lah-.-
Met q at novena and we were suppose to watch brandon''s rugby's match but it was postponed cause of the rain. Waste my time sia-.-.-.-.-.-.-
In the end went CHJMES with the boys to drink.
Homed at 10.
IM SO FUCKING TIRED BUT I MUST WAIT TILL 12 FOR MY EU THAN SLEEP AT 1 :(:(:(:(


Just watched 16 and pregnant :X
Motherhood?

Am listening to feng now and typing this post. Surprisingly, i don't feel affected anymore when i hear this song ! HAHAHAHA! ^.O
Hmmm, i'm always passing by your house everytime i go to tuition ( Cause i cab :P )
I'll always be staring at it and feel like something is missing.
I remember once we both were looking out of the window with you hugging me and telling me ah b's house is there etc etc.
However today, i didn't even realise i passed by your place because i was busy replying my text and missed looking at your house.
Then it suddenly occured to me, your house is passing by me like how this relationship is.
Gradually it will drift further and further as i move on till it beome a thing of the past.
I am, moving on :)

Just played 2-person mahjiong with Cat ! DAMN FUNNY I TELL YOU!
But super fun (:
Went to town earlier on and celebrated Moo's birthday.
I like him, he's a nice guy and most importantly, i know how he's feeling now:X
Hearing his story makes me feel :X:X:X:X:X:X:X:X:X
Sigh.
But they are a fun bunch of people :)


It's not you texting me every morning and asking me what im doing. It's not you whom im telling what i'm doing the whole day.
It's not you who i send my last text to before i sleep. It's not you whom i dress up for. It's not you who  i receive a hug from and feel safe.
It's not you who ask me to sleep early every night. It's not you who ask me to close my curtain everytime i change.
It's just not you anymore....................................................

Remember there was once i was talking to you and i went down to look for food. I opened my cupboard to get a plate and a lizard fell out and i screamed and started crying. It was so loud that my dad who was sleeping upstairs came down and check? You were so nice then. You got so worried for me and kept shouting into the phone asking me what happened.
You sayang-ed me after that and put me to sleep. I felt so loved then.
Today, the same thing happened.
I WAS LIKE FUCKING FRIGHTENED BY THAT STUPID LIZARD.
However, there's no you anymore...............

Just some memories that came back. But i'm fine (:
It's just memories and it shall be(:

DAMN SINGAPORE'S WEATHER MAN!
I've been turning on my air-con everytime i come home. SO WARM!
Today's chem paper was surprising easier than last year !
And i didn't study till today morning and thank you ting hong for teaching me! :)
Oh my, i'm so bored but yet im not studying cause of my RUAN JING TIAN!
HE'S SO SWEET AND HANDSOME!!!! I WANT :(:(:(:(:(
Haha.
Something very happy is gonna happen after mid years:D:D:D:D



Ps: Reading dear boys now and i realised what i wished that will happen between us is according to the basketball couple in the book. I've lived that dream for 3years and now it's time to come back to reality.
Pps: Now i know why i like basketball guys alr! LOL!

Today chinese was so-so. Compo was ^^ ! Thanks Hannah :D
Spent the break between paper one and paper two to study the words for chinese cause i didn't study last night.
But not bad, i know how to write 8/10. TEEHEE! Haha.
Went to MI after that and picked qien from school.
And guess who i saw? ELMO LEH!
Wlao, how long has it been? We talked alot and about many stuffs when i was sec1 and 2.
Lol. Reminded me of a lot of things:X
Went to eat at upper thomson after that. Full much(:
Tomorrow E.Hist is a goner cause V.Tan SUCKKKKKK!!

Why can't i go to OBS? Just because of those things? Fuck, know  how rare this chance is?
You always think you're right. Ask you to ask also not willing to help.
I hate you dad, I hate you mum.

I've been putting up with you for 2 weeks already.
Seriously, what is your fucking problem?
This is for you:

FUCK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you can reply. It's just that you chose to or not to. Tell me who in this world will take 4hours or more just to reply one text and with only a few words.
To others, your text will be filled with smileys, flirtatious words and sometimes even disgusting stuffs. To me? One word or a little more. How long haven we really chat properly like normal friends? Even when i try to pretend to be normal and talk like how we used to talk before 10/07/07, it's all to no avail.
I just want to start afresh with you.
However, you still treat me like your enemy. Im just trying to help. You say nothing to say, fine by me. But do you have to give that kinda of reply. If you dont want my care and concern, tell me. I shall stop asking how are you and everything.
Anyway you have so many other people showing concern for you and not like you bother telling me what's happening in your life. I shouldn't even have felt painful for you. Not like you care even if i shed any tears for you just knowing something happened but not to you. I feel really stupid, crying over something that isn't suppose to have any connection with me.
Go on and be with them, i have nothing more to say. Anyway you never once uphold your promise. I've lost total faith in you. I don't trust you anymore. I **** you ! I will make the thing that you won't believe i will do come true real soon. If one day you dont see or hear from me, you'll know what happened.

And it's all because of your '' let nature take its course''.

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