When one's single, you'll spend lots of time with your friends and family.
But when you're attached, time all goes to your other halves.
I've been ditched by you my very own blood cousin for him and its showing isn't it?
Time you're spending with me now is like what?
Once in every few weeks?
I've been even shouted by my very own blood sister to let her spend time alone with her boyf when i only wanna hitch a car ride to the airport.
Criticized and insulted by my very own blood sister every now and then.
I'm not saying it's your fault for finding someone you love.
All i'm saying is that alex is someone whom treated me with his heart and soul before things changed and he lost his feelings.
But when he loved me, he really gave me his everything and he was VERY good to me.
I love you all but what i really want is someone whom i can really count on.
You're my cousin & my best friend.
Staying by your side and being for you is what i have to do naturally.
I don't insult morris even though i don't like him.
In fact i hate him, hate him for stealing you away.
But that's what cousins are for isn't it?
To be there for each other no matter what.
I'm a fool, yes i am.
But getting over someone i've loved for 3years and still loving now is really difficult for me.
Disappointment just leads me into being more into him and idk why.
He was the only one who made me feel appreciated for things i've done for him and he understands how horrible i feel. He was my pillar of support throughout the years when shits were happening in my family and they were nowhere to be found. All escaping from the hell at home.
I don't want to be always quarrelling with you over him.
I just want moral support like how i'm giving you even though i don't like morris.
<3 2:47 AM.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Exams are over and the results are coming back.
I'm super stressed plus super afraid.
I just hope to promote, i really do.
Dad went to Paris and now i'm sick like right after the exams.
Flu, fever, sore throat, cough, all coming at once. Fml.
Just ended my mahjiong session and i'm going to sleep.
Had fun for the past two days.
Photos soon, promise :)
Nights, sleep tight!
<3 5:32 AM.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
A primary school mate of mine just sent me a facebook message and here it goes
'' Hey miss Sng miss monitress miss prefect! It's your O's this year so work hard and good luck! ''
When i told her i retained, she asked me '' What happened? The last time i saw you, you were one of the best student. ''
Memories, it all came back. How i wasted that important year of my life.
Then stress came, what if i'd really get kicked out this year?
My parents, my sisters, my cousins, my ever supportive family.
How am i ever gonna answer to them?
* 6 am in the morning * In my mind, '' i need to study, i need to study, i need to study ''
* On table lamp and started doing math on my bed *
* Fell asleep on my papers *
* Waking up to do math again *
I am this desperate to promote, this desperate to proof to people i can do it, this desperate to not let anyone down.
Most importantly, this desperate to give myself one last chance to make a better out of the life i have screwed up.
<3 10:01 PM.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Been going to the airport every single day since idk when.
It's always with teddy, if not others.
We both skipped school this two days and stayed glue to the airport from morning till night.
Tired much much much.
School's been giving me problems, my mum too.
But who cares, not like i give a fuck about what the school thinks.
PS: TEDDY HAS THIS REALLY COMFY JACKET FROM KOREA!!
I swear its damn nice:X
I WANNA GO KOREA THIS YEAR AND SWIPE OUT ALL REGARDING SHINEE'S THING!<3
<3 9:51 PM.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Not like i'm not trying my best?
Say all you want. Enough of you flaring up at me for no apparent reason.
<3 9:50 PM.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Watch this video. It's really super sad. I've never cried over a video before and this made me SOB.
