Thursday, September 3, 2009

Yesterday when i got in to my mum's car,
i felt like i was a little gal once again.
I cried and i told her
'' Mummy, 我真的很累了，很累很累了''.
I don't know what got into her but
she scolded me terribly.
It's been ages since i've heard her scream this loudly at me.
Those tone, those harshness were often use on me when i was young.
All she said really got into me this time,
i've let people who cared for me down.

Yes,
this may be my life.
However,
in my life,
i have many others that truely care for me
and wants to see that happy gal again.
For him,
i've hurt many others.
I shouldn't be so selfish.

I'm really tired
It's really tiring to be happy in front of you when i'm not
cause if i give that xian face,
you will be even more unwilling to go out with me.
I've prayed,
i've begged,
i've done many things that i wouldn't expect myself to do.
It's enough.

Yesterday night after you left,
i left my phone in the silent mode and left it to charge.
I lied in my bed all the way till morning, thinking.
I've seen people's texts.
i've seen people's calls.
Most importantly,
i've seen yours.
It really made me happy although it was only once.
But i know,
i'm not supposed to pick or to reply.
I really have to give up.
My heart is aching,
leading to the physical pain of my chest.

It's not that i do not love you,
i do.
But i have to think of those who care about me
and not let them down.
I'm letting go.
I'm moving on.
Thank you for all the good and bad memories.
I will miss you,
i really will darling.....

人生的道路上，每一件事都是注定的。
这是我必经之路。
是你的就是你的，
不是你的，你在怎么留也是没有用。
看着你，我再也找不到以前爱过我的你。
缘分已禁，
是时候放手了。

<3 3:55 PM.