Copyrighted from underage-girl.blogspot.com.
They say "the first cut is the deepest", and I'm sorry if I have to resort to cliche and over-repeated quotes we have all heard before to emphasize on what I really mean, but these quotes wouldn't be so famous if they weren't so true.
Your first love would be nothing like the rest of your relationships. It is the first time you fall in love that you fall the deepest, because you love like you've never been hurt before. And that, in my opinion, is one of the truest forms of love.
Because in my first real relationship, I taught myself how to love unconditionally. I was new to this scene, and all I could really understand was how hard and fast he made my heart beat.
've never known heartbreak like how it knew to always find its way to me, and because I've never been hurt quite so badly, I also never knew how to protect myself.
For the longest time, I was obsessed with the fact that I was in love with somebody whom I thought was perfect for me, never once stopping to realize that perhaps I'm in love with the idea of what I'd like him to be or who I THINK he is, and not realizing who he actually was is someone I've never known, and still don't.
I was trying to hold onto someone who was already gone.
I was young, far too young and naive back then to even begin to grasp the basic concept of relationships. I just knew that I had to love him, and that I had to be with him.
When you're in a relationship like that, you don't stop to think that one day, all that was your entire world would come crashing down on your head, taking you along with it.
You'd never imagine that he would say the hurtful things to shatter your world that he eventually did one day, you'd never imagine that you were merely placed as an option all along when he was obviously your priority.
And so I got hurt.
I was lied to, I was emotionally abused and I cried like I've never cried before.
Everyone goes through heartbreak, and sometimes you're gonna wholeheartedly trust that seemingly special someone who steals your heart but conveniently steps all over it and leaves you to bleed out all by yourself... but the most important part is knowing how to pick up the pieces and walk away.
There will always be assholes out there. But they are not the biggest problem of all.
What I'm really, really cut about is the fact that I let him do it to me. Over and over again.
I let him hurt me, because I was too eager to believe his lies, too desperate to feel wanted and loved.
There's a chance that he won't tear you up inside again, but don't use that as an excuse to throw away your dignity and self-worth and readily accept living a lie while in self-denial.
Don't let that be the reason why you forgive him after his second repeated mistake even though there was a gut feeling inside you telling you that something is very, very wrong.
I'll be completely honest with you and tell you that the only reason why I stuck with my ex-boyfriend for so long was because I was too obsessed with the idea that some day he will change for me, and I can say that I was right here waiting for him all along
They say love is unconditional, and me being the idiot that I was, happily lapped up every single ounce of bullshit that was spoon fed to me by clueless people who claimed that true love is unconditional.
And it was my first relationship - of course I thought I was truly in love.
A relationship shouldn't be something just to HAVE, it's something to work for!!!
I remember crying myself to sleep wishing that things would get better, but they never did. Not until I took control of my own life and stopped letting a destructive relationship consume me.
SO stop bloody wallowing in self-pity and DO SOMETHING to make your life better!!!!!!!
All these happened to me before too. I'll never ever forgive you for what you did with that dance btich and my junior.
For god's sake, she's my junior. Sigh, forget it. Do not eish to say anymore cause i can't be botered anymore.
If you feel that you've done nothing wrong and walk pass me with that all so mighty look so be it.
Cause i wont even be bothered to look your way. It's just disappointment now i have for you.
Do what you please. Although you say you know you've let me down, you dont seem to repent.
You still can say those words to me and act like you've done nothing wrong.
I........................................................ really have nothing more to say.
<3 2:10 AM.
