Wednesday, July 7, 2010
To: Alex lee chin soon
Maybe this time i really have to let go of alex and move on with life.
My mind is like telling myself i have to continue loving alex cause i'm afraid of changes, afraid of people saying im unfaithful.
However, i ask myself. Who let me down first?
I really have to stop loving him as an obligation.
From that day he said those nasty stuffs to me, i have no more responsibility to love him and maintain the relationship anymore.
Today is 07/07.
Remember its our first 'date' because we went tampines mall to get angeeling's present and i remember we got scouted to go for modelling. Super funny! Lol.
The day i've been waiting for is coming.
10/07/10.
I remember telling myself we would last till this day and have a grand celebration cause the numbers are very nice and its our 3rd year.
Who would have expected this?
Not on talking terms, you not caring and acting like you don't know me.
I wonder if you even remember what we went through for the past 3years.
How we talked thru the night till 4plus in the morning and getting scolded by your parents.
From them disallowing till they had to resign to fate and till they scolded me, saying its all my fault.
From the start of 2007, we've started talking.
Till only 10th July 2007, that i accepted you.
I was so damn afraid that i would hurt you because i'm not sure i'm the faithful gal you've been looking for.
From knowing nothing about you, till knowing everything about you.
From your appearance to your character to your habits to your family to your friends, i know it all.
I was all so ready to get serious and even marry you, cause we were talking about it, after what happened in sec2.
Cause i sensed your love and i don't wanna let you down.
However, for god knows why, you started to change after January 2009.
After 2years of bliss and happiness, everything went down the drain.
Maybe you don't feel that there's any change in you but look back.
Compare the before you and the you now.
I don't blame you, it's our growing up stage and people do change.
You can say you've changed but you can't put the blame on me for your change.
Then July 2009 came the drama and we broke up and patched back countless of times.
We both knew it's useless even though we were trying our best.
May 2010 was the time when i really woke up.
Knowing that your love really isn't coming back.
I have to stand up, screwing my studies for a year and half is enough.
Ever since then, i tried not contacting you but time to time, i couldn't resist and even met up with you.
Turning to you once there's a problem, like always.
I even kept your jersey, nametag and badge cause i couldn't bear with it.
Now, July 2010, i've learnt to cherish myself and am not going back to my old path.
All the memories, all the feelings. I guess i'm the only one who's keeping them with me.
You've long forgotten about them, about me.
I guess you don't really remember how much i really loved you.
I loved you, more than you've ever known.
However, it's really time.
Time to let that ghost of you, who have been haunting me ever since last year, go.
Goodbye to the love of my secondary school life.
Alex Lee Chin Soon, my darling, my dumbdumb.
Take care of yourself and goodluck for your o's this year.
Am thankful for all the things you've done for me, the scoldings, for being my confidant, my love and many more. Thank you.
Am sorry for all the things i've done to hurt you, during sec2 and stuffs. I'm sorry.
I don't know about you but deep down in my heart, you'll have a secret corner to yourself, where i'll keep you well hidden and safe.
Have ample rest my love, i hate to see you looking so tired.
Remember, take good care of yourself.
ps: you know i'll still be loving you. xoxo.
your dumbdumb,
sng yi ling.
Lastly, i'm gonna post our song lyrics for the last time, i do hope that next time,
whenever you hear this song, you'll be reminded of me, of us.
楓 周杰伦
乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明
就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔
已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠夺天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
Maybe this time i really have to let go of alex and move on with life.
My mind is like telling myself i have to continue loving alex cause i'm afraid of changes, afraid of people saying im unfaithful.
However, i ask myself. Who let me down first?
I really have to stop loving him as an obligation.
From that day he said those nasty stuffs to me, i have no more responsibility to love him and maintain the relationship anymore.
Today is 07/07.
Remember its our first 'date' because we went tampines mall to get angeeling's present and i remember we got scouted to go for modelling. Super funny! Lol.
The day i've been waiting for is coming.
10/07/10.
I remember telling myself we would last till this day and have a grand celebration cause the numbers are very nice and its our 3rd year.
Who would have expected this?
Not on talking terms, you not caring and acting like you don't know me.
I wonder if you even remember what we went through for the past 3years.
How we talked thru the night till 4plus in the morning and getting scolded by your parents.
From them disallowing till they had to resign to fate and till they scolded me, saying its all my fault.
From the start of 2007, we've started talking.
Till only 10th July 2007, that i accepted you.
I was so damn afraid that i would hurt you because i'm not sure i'm the faithful gal you've been looking for.
From knowing nothing about you, till knowing everything about you.
From your appearance to your character to your habits to your family to your friends, i know it all.
I was all so ready to get serious and even marry you, cause we were talking about it, after what happened in sec2.
Cause i sensed your love and i don't wanna let you down.
However, for god knows why, you started to change after January 2009.
After 2years of bliss and happiness, everything went down the drain.
Maybe you don't feel that there's any change in you but look back.
Compare the before you and the you now.
I don't blame you, it's our growing up stage and people do change.
You can say you've changed but you can't put the blame on me for your change.
Then July 2009 came the drama and we broke up and patched back countless of times.
We both knew it's useless even though we were trying our best.
May 2010 was the time when i really woke up.
Knowing that your love really isn't coming back.
I have to stand up, screwing my studies for a year and half is enough.
Ever since then, i tried not contacting you but time to time, i couldn't resist and even met up with you.
Turning to you once there's a problem, like always.
I even kept your jersey, nametag and badge cause i couldn't bear with it.
Now, July 2010, i've learnt to cherish myself and am not going back to my old path.
All the memories, all the feelings. I guess i'm the only one who's keeping them with me.
You've long forgotten about them, about me.
I guess you don't really remember how much i really loved you.
I loved you, more than you've ever known.
However, it's really time.
Time to let that ghost of you, who have been haunting me ever since last year, go.
Goodbye to the love of my secondary school life.
Alex Lee Chin Soon, my darling, my dumbdumb.
Take care of yourself and goodluck for your o's this year.
Am thankful for all the things you've done for me, the scoldings, for being my confidant, my love and many more. Thank you.
Am sorry for all the things i've done to hurt you, during sec2 and stuffs. I'm sorry.
I don't know about you but deep down in my heart, you'll have a secret corner to yourself, where i'll keep you well hidden and safe.
Have ample rest my love, i hate to see you looking so tired.
Remember, take good care of yourself.
ps: you know i'll still be loving you. xoxo.
your dumbdumb,
sng yi ling.
Lastly, i'm gonna post our song lyrics for the last time, i do hope that next time,
whenever you hear this song, you'll be reminded of me, of us.
楓 周杰伦
乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明
就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔
已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠夺天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
Our best loved photo.
I guess you still remember where we took it yea?
1021.
100707.
<3 11:57 PM.
